Things You Hate
by Atsureki
Summary: While thinking about how things have changed Yuki counts off some of the things he hates now and then realizes that he loves some things too bad summery I know sigh


Disclaimers : I don't own them bla bla bla bla *sighs* Everybody must know this crap by now, ne?

Warnings : OOC, Shounen-ai (hello this is Gravitation!). Dunno maybe sappyness or waffyness or something...

Paring : Yuki/Shuichi

Notes : Are there any? *thinks* I've never written anything in this style before but I love reading it so there we go. It's written in uh eh You-form? I have no idea what you call it but you'll get the picture.

Yuki no gaki = Yuki's brat, Yuki no baka = Yuki's idiot, Yuki no kuso gaki = Yuki's damn brat

Oyasuminasai = Good Night

Things You Hate (By Atsureki)

Your apartment has always been quiet. No that's not really true. Your apartment USED to be quiet, until he moved in. After that nothing ever went back to normal, if normal is the word to use. You've realized a lot of things during the last week and most of it bugs you. You don't like your apartment anymore, actually you hate it. You hate how it's quiet and dark... and you hate how empty it seems. 

There's no babbling, no TV on too loud, no music blaring from the stereo you don't even know why you have. On second thought... it's not your stereo at all, it's his. Further more there's no lights turned on and you just hate it! You sigh and stroll over to the fridge. Another thing that has changed. 

Your fridge used to be filled with beer and not much else. Now there's a ton of stuff in there, like food, snacks, soft drinks, stuff you don't like or rather didn't use to like or even care about. You sigh again. Never did use to sigh a whole lot either. The couch is empty as you sit down on it and that's yet another thing you really hate. There should be a babbling pink haired brat there or at least his precious pillow and blanket. 

When you came home a few hours ago there was no one to greet you, no one launching himself at you, no one screaming your name, no one at all. You think that that might be what you hate the most. It's... lonely. You leave the couch because it makes you depressed, or some shit like that, to sit there all alone and walk over to the window. Tokyo is staring at you with its neon lights. 

A cigarette appears and you light it but not before you've opened the window to let the smoke out. You never used to do that before but the brat doesn't like you smoking and you're not about to quit so to stop his whining you don't smoke inside like you used to. You never used to bend like that either, you used to do whatever you liked and tell anyone who didn't like it to go fuck themselves. 

But it's different with him and you don't quite know why, or perhaps you do but you don't really want to admit to it. There are a lot of things you don't want to admit to but somehow you're sort of doing it anyway. Like that you miss him. You do... miss him. 

Maybe it's because you're so used to hearing him, seeing him, feeling him, smelling him all around you or maybe it's because you... No THAT isn't something you are willing to admit to right now. What does it matter? Everybody has got to have figured it out by now, right? 

Why would you put up with him otherwise? Why would you have gone up against Aizawa otherwise? Hell you even returned from New York because of it, didn't you? You did all that and so much more because you love the brat. How that happened you don't know and you don't even really care. 

He's loud, energetic and obnoxious but you love him and that really freaked you out at first. You got over it, eventually, sort of, almost. Not that you've told the brat that you love him because you don't know if you can, how to. But you're pretty sure he knows, you hope he does. 

You kill your cigarette and close the window before walking into your office. It's quiet in there too and the chair next to yours is staring at you, you're sure of it. That chair is empty now, bratless and you hate that too. 

You complain a lot when the brat is with you, about how he bothers you with his babbling, or that he has no talant and whatnot. None of it is really true... He does have talant when it comes to writing, even if his lyrics are silly sometimes, and he doesn't bother you with his babbling anymore. 

At first it grated on your nerves because you weren't used to it but now it's like the air, the walls of your apartment or the sun, it's there and you need it there. He has a nice voice to listen to and for some reason hearing it calms you down, eases your mind and you don't know why nor do you care. But he's not talking now and he hasn't been talking to you for a week. You think that might be what you hate the most too. 

Your laptop hums faithfully but you don't know what to write, can't focus when it's so quiet. You could turn on some music or something but what difference would it make? It's not music you want to hear it's him babbling about his day, about Hiro or any other of the million things he babbles about. 

Most of the time you don't pay attention... That's not really true either. You do pay attention but you pretend not to because well that's just who you are. There's a deadline hanging over your head but you have never really cared about deadlines. You're a writer, a famous one at that, so fuck deadlines! Your next book will come out when you're damn good and ready to release it. 

The laptop and your book are forgotten now because you're far too busy with reminissing about your precious brat. People have a lot of thoughts about your relationship and most of them are wrong. They think you forced him to sleep on the couch and you didn't. 

When he moved in he simply picked the couch as his bed and you never said anything about it. After a while he started staying in your bed after you had sex and you sort of liked it but never said anything about that either. 

You can only sleep on your stomach and he never tries to make you sleep any other way because that's just how he is. Instead he drapes himself over your back and that is nice. He'll snuggle up against you and wrap his scrawny arms around you before he falls asleep. You sometimes lie awake and listen to him snore softly against your skin and that's when you really know you love him. 

Shuichi. You don't call him that, have only done it like once or twice. He's not Shuichi to you, he's your brat. Yuki no gaki, Yuki no baka or if he's really on a roll and being annoying, Yuki no kuso gaki. You smile to yourself. It's not really an insult but rather an affectionate pet name, unless he is being stupid, which he tends to be pretty often. 

He doesn't mind, at least he says he doesn't and you have no reason to think he's lying. People who observe you also think you use him and you don't. Yes sometimes you're mean to him and treat him bad but it's not because you want to. You have problems and you both know it. Your brat takes it in a stride most of the time. 

There has been a few times when you know you've really hurt him though and that pains you even if you don't talk about it. People also think you throw him out all the time and you don't do that either. You have thrown him out a few times when you just couldn't help yourself but never because you wanted to and never for your own good, always for him. 

To protect him you'd do anything and that's scary. That's why you beat up Ma-kun and would gladly have killed Aizawa if he hadn't given up that roll of film. You can't stand seeing anyone inflict pain on your brat. Shuichi is innocent, naïve and you like him that way. Your innocence and naitivity were stolen from you and you can't thank the world enough for not letting that happen to the brat even though he went through pretty much the same things you did. 

You don't really understand him and you don't pretend to either. He's a mystery to you and you've concluded that one or two mysteries won't kill you, much. While you're on the subject of death you also have to admit that you might very well have been, would probably have been, dead if it hadn't been for the brat. 

That cold winter night in New York you were thinking about killing yourself. It seemed like the right thing to do but Shuichi disagreed of course. He told you that he would search and find you wherever you went, even if you died and he'd never forgive you for that. You think he was telling the truth about that because that's the kind of person he is. 

He's very passionate about everything and he rarely gives up, he's stubborn to the point of annoyance sometimes. You love that too even if it pisses you off. With a soft click you shut down the laptop and rise to your feet. You're tired and you feel lonely. 

Yawning a little you pad out of the office and towards the bedroom. It's late, probably after midnight and you want your bed. The room you enter is dark just like the rest of the apartment but thankfully it's not as quiet in there. You can't help but sigh in relief because you've had enough silence for today. 

Quietly you undress and head into the bathroom to brush your teeth and pee. You've almost stopped wearing your pyjamas in bed, or like now you only wear the pants. Shuichi asked you about that once and you didn't want to answer so you just kissed him and kept on doing it until he forgot to ask again. It's embarrassing that you sleep shirtless just to be able to feel his skin against yours at night and you hate being embarrassed. 

You leave the bathroom and curse the fact that you forgot to put on some socks or at least wear a pair of slippers, the floor is cold. When you reach the bed you stop. You've missed your beloved brat all day but he's not gone, he hasn't left you nor did you leave him. 

He's right there, in your bed. That's why it isn't completely quiet in the bedroom, Shuichi is snoring and not as softly as normal. He weezes a little and every now and then he grunts in his sleep. 

You pad over to his side and feel his forehead. Not quite as hot and clammy as yesterday but not as cool and dry as you would have liked it either. His pink hair is a little dull and damp from sweat, you hate that too along with about a million other things because it means that your brat is sick. 

That's why he hasn't said a word in a week and why he's not bouncing around. He has the flu and haven't left the bed, can't even leave the bed on his own. It worries you but the doctor told you to just let him sleep and give him plenty of fluids. Someone once told you that you shouldn't claim to be in love until you've seen your lover sick with the flu and haven't strangled him or her because of it. 

You haven't strangled Shuichi but you have pampered him, fussed over him and taken care of him so you can proudly say that you are in love and you do... but not out loud. Carefully not to awake him you wipe his face with a damp towel. What you really want is for him to wake up though, you want to see those huge lavender eyes look at you, hear his voice and you might even be selfish enough to admit that you want to feel that body writhe from pleasure underneath yours. 

You told him he sucked in bed once and he does, pun intended, but not like you meant it that time. You've never slept with someone as agile and 'bendy' as Shuichi. He can twist that lithe body in a hundered different ways and you love all of them. Some mornings you wake up with him curled around you like a pretzel and you don't understand how he can sleep like that because if it was you your back would have snapped. 

You walk around the bed to your side and slip underneath the covers, carefully getting yourself comfortable on your stomach. Tired or not you can't seem to fall asleep and you know why. It's weird to be lying there next to the brat without even touching him. Almost pouting you scoot closer and press your side against his hot back, that's better but not good, it'll have to do for now though. 

He murmurs in his sleep, coughs a little and starts snoring really loud. It should annoy you but instead it relaxes you a little because now you can hear him clearly at least. You still can't seem to fall asleep and it's pissing you off, causing you to squirm.

"Yuki?" Damn you woke him up! His voice is all scratchy and thin and you hate that along with all the other things you hate right now. But at least he seems to be able to talk again.

"Go back to sleep baka," you mumble and feel pretty horrible for waking him up when he needs to rest. The mattress shifts and then you feel it. A hot body draping itself over your back, arms curling around you and legs intertwining themselves with yours. 

That's how it should be and now you can really relax completely. Gushes of air brush over your shoulder and you can smell him. He doesn't smell exactly like he usually does because his sick. The normal strawberry smell is mixed with a light scent of sweat and medicine but you don't mind. 

"Oyasuminasai Yuki." It's a sleepy, scratchy croak but it makes you smile because it's so familier.

"Oyasuminasai baka," you murmur back and turn your head to kiss the mop of pink hair that's tickling your cheek. 

You fall asleep after that and your last thought is that you're happy, not euphoric, ecstatic, 'you could catch the moon' happy but contented, 'at peace with life' happy and that's enough for you. There's a lot of things you hate but now there's also at least one thing you love to balance it up. One brat outweighs a lot of bad things and that's one more thing you don't hate.

~OWARI~

Okay first of all... About the part that Yuki didn't force Shuichi to sleep on the couch. I've watched all the episodes (not the OAV's yet though) and I never saw anything that indicated that he did. Shuichi simply grabbed his pillow and headed for the couch like it was the most natural thing in the world so there we go with that *G*

When it comes to all the Yuki misses Shuichi stuff just look at the series I mean it's obvious to me that he does miss him when he's not there. There's one scene when Yuki sits in his office and stares at the chair Shuichi sat on and just looks rather miserable.

I'm babbling too much so I'll shut up now. Hope you like it and stuff. Leave a review if you feel like it ne? *Wavers* Ja/Atsureki


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